Nikki returns with one-woman show

Crosby will stage Fifty-ish... Hott AF, a one-woman theatre production detailing her “#trinimerica experience” at Queen’s Hall, St Ann’s, on September 30.

The comedienne/actress, who moved to the United States in 2021, popularised that hashtag while sharing her daily experiences living in the US with her thousands of followers on social media.

Gary Clarke

HEAD OVER HEELS: Crosby rings in 2023 with husband Gary Clarke.

“Turning 50 in ’merica boy, oh gude it was tough. That’s what the show is about, the rough moments of getting older as a woman. The show is about my life, my experiences in my 20s, 30s, 40s and now 50s,” an animated Crosby told the Express during an emotional phone call yesterday morning.

Living in the US between her sister’s house in Miami, Florida, and her husband’s family in Ohio, Crosby said she found outside of soca parties there “isn’t much for Caribbean people to do” in the US.

“There is nothing that resemble us out there. We get a street in New York, recently, but I realise there is nothing but soca parties for Caribbean people in the US and these parties are getting younger and younger, age 15 to 35.

nikki crosby

“When you outgrow these parties there is little to do, so I plan to take my show to New York, Washington, Miami, wherever Caribbean people are located,” Crosby vowed.

A Trini tabanca

Crosby says one of her main reasons for leaving T&T was “to find a change of scenery to the depression” she felt after months of Covid-19 pandemic restrictions and daily loss of life.

It wasn’t easy. I was on radio every morning and the news was death, death and more death. It affected my mental health. I was very depressed dealing with death every day. If yuh not in media, you could switch off but there was never an ‘off’ switch for me. Gerry suggested we take a break,” Crosby recounted.

However, despite her daily online feel-good posts, Crosby says “it wasn’t always easy” being away from T&T. While she initially enjoyed the American Halloween and Thanksgiving experiences with family, she admits to falling into a deeper depression over being unable to work or travel while waiting for her Permanent Resident Card (“Green Card”) to be processed.

“I woke up one morning and I was like ‘what I do’. I left everything I know, left at the top of my game to sit in my sister’s house and do nothing. I couldn’t work so everything I did was for free, volunteer work and worst of all I couldn’t travel back to Trinidad,” she lamented.

Crosby said she found new purpose and resolve in pouring herself into caring for her sister and her family. That dopamine hit was short-lived, however, as having to watch from afar as the Mother of All Carnivals unfolded in T&T last February was “one of the most difficult moments of my life”.

“I went through a real tabanca. I almost dead. It was an out-of-body experience. I couldn’t listen to soca. I heard everybody talking about Bunji (Garlin Road March-winning) song (‘Hard Fete’) and I end up listening to it the week before Carnival. I went crazy.

“I listened (to) Machel (Montano), Patrice (Roberts) and Nailah (Blackman’s collaboration with Vincentian Skinny Fabulous), ‘Come Home’. Oh God, ah almost lost my mind. I just couldn’t. It was that bad,” she related.

Plantains, roti and the Caribbean sea

Being back in T&T has nourished her soul, Crosby said. She credits a diet of fried plantain and curry and the healing power of the Caribbean Sea for her renewed energies.

“Is like I never left. I was out there, but my heart was always here, and now I am whole again,” Crosby said.

“Oh my God, I was so excited to come home, to just work again, see my family and friends, take a sea bath, eat ah roti and, oh God, ah plantain. Out there they pick the plantains too early so by the time it reach the US it doh taste de same. Ah mango out dey not as sweet as home,” she continued.

Looking at her self-penned upcoming show, however, Crosby acknowledges it would never have come to fruition if she hadn’t spent time the past two years in the US.

“I had my rough moments but there spiritually I was where I was supposed to be. I wouldn’t have written this show in Trinidad. It was scary, but it was all worth it,” she said.

Crosby says she plans to be “back and forth” between her US base and T&T in the coming year. Having spent her first extended time out of T&T since her university days in Canada, however, she says she “doh understand how people could talk this country bad”.

“It is awesome to come home and be a Trini. I could never understand why people wha leave Trinidad and bad-talk Trinidad. I heard people say ‘I could never go back dey’ and I can’t understand it. Here is where my heart is,” Crosby concluded.

Mondezie, M. (2023, September 14). Nikki returns with one-woman show. Trinidad Express Newspapers. https://trinidadexpress.com/features/local/nikki-returns-with-one-woman-show/article_5b74c63e-5356-11ee-95bd-4719aaca9c8d.html